Triggers Are Real

Only my fertility sisters can understand how I feel right now. So I was just fine, drinking water and minding my business. I decided to get my nails done and feel even better about myself. At the nail salon, my nail tech (who I know well) tells me she is pregnant again. I said “Oh wow”, “I’m so happy for you” and I really was/am. Of course, we continue to talk about our journeys, mine not so joyous. Meanwhile, she is doing my nails and completely screwing them up. At that moment, I just felt like crying. I called my sister and she said, is it your nails or the baby announcement. Good question. It has to be the baby announcement, my nails that look like crap, and the fact that I am on my period. Triggers are real. As soon as you identify yours, make a mental note and make necessary adjustments/changes.

How to identify your triggers:

Just about everyone has some emotional triggers, though they may vary from person to person.

Common situations that trigger intense emotions include:

  • rejection
  • betrayal
  • unjust treatment
  • challenged beliefs
  • helplessness or loss of control
  • being excluded or ignored
  • disapproval or criticism
  • feeling unwanted or unneeded
  • feeling smothered or too needed
  • insecurity
  • loss of independence

Once you have identified your triggers, it’s important to process them in a healthy way.

Some ways of dealing with triggers:

Acknowledge and own your feelings
Take a step back
Trace the root
Give yourself space
Communicate
Practice mindfulness
Keep a mood journal
Talk to a therapist

(Citation: Healthline, 2022)

If you are struggling to cope with your emotions, there are culturally competent therapists who would like to assist.

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